5 Methods to Help you Stop Loving a Person

Relationships require more than just love to be successful.  However, when you realize its time to end the romance it can be very painful to leave because you still harbor love for your soon-to-be ex.  No matter how much you want this love to leave, your heart is still cling onto the fantasy.

You have to begin with working on your confidence.  Think about if you want to stay with this person because you are more anxious about being alone.  Realize that you are worthy of healthy and fulfilling relationships.  Until you accept this truth, you will keep finding dead-end dates.  As you broaden your concept of self-worth and self-love you will find yourself exploring and learning.  You will find yourself seeing your identity separate of being someone’s partner.  As you embrace this new-found freedom you find yourself refusing to go back into your old box.

The is no blame or shame when you know its time to move forward.  You may hurt this person, especially if they add complications into the separation process.  Falling out of love takes time, but you need to weigh this fear with the reality of any drama, anxiety, or negativity in your life.

Breakups can be painful, but they open yourself up to new opportunities.  Essentially, they become a moment of “I want more than this” and you seize your destiny.  Be decisive and clear when you break up.  After, make peace with your decision.  Listen to your inner wisdom and let it guide your next actions.  Chances are they know something isn’t right with your relationships either and this breakup will help them find a more suitable partner.  Now that you are ready to move on, here are 5 tips to stop loving someone.

1. Accept your feelings: It natural that love you spent years nourishing won’t go away overnight.  Accept that you are still currently in love with this person.  Through this truth you can begin to take steps in moving forward.  Find peace that it will take time for the love to fade, and this person isn’t right for this stage in your life.  Shift this love into love for yourself.  Nurture yourself like you once cared for your ex.  Embrace the present and discover passions that have laid dormant or new opportunities that present themselves.  Remember that the emotion of love is complicated and multi-layered.  Some components are filled with logic, predictability and reason.  Other facets are magical, mystical and chemical.  Both aspects must work in tandem for a relationship to succeed.  Love requires attention when you don’t feed it over time it will fade away and let you heal.
2. See them for who they are: True love means seeing a person for not just their positive attributes, but their flaws as well.  Think about if you are having feeling for the true person, or an idealized version.  This person may never have let you in enough, for you to see their shadow side.  Begin to heal by remembering the negative moments in your relationship.  Forgive them for being human and wish them well as you both part ways.
3. You should your top priority: Before you can love anyone else you must love yourself first!  You will never be able to understand anyone’s motives or thoughts.  Therefore, you can only take responsibility for your own actions and reactions.  See this breakup as a way to better connect with your spirit.  As you pour love into yourself, you will begin to let your feelings of love for your ex to subside.
4. Seek professional help: Working with a trained therapist can be quite helpful in processing a breakup.  They will offer unbiased opinions, provide frank discussions and insights and help you identify growth opportunities for yourself.  Be honest with your concerns about still loving your ex.  Acknowledging this fact can help reduce associated anxiety that this might be abnormal.  They will work with you to understand the roots causes of this concern and help you discover ways to heal.  Talking to a therapist and getting their nonjudgmental feedback is often a great help for many people.
5. Try to relax: Take a breath and try to release your concerns about still loving your ex.  Focus on shifting your thoughts and goals to help you grow and explore new opportunities.  Embrace the present to help you discover a better path forward to the future of your dreams.  By focusing on your daily activities, loved ones, and passion projects you will reduce the attention you place on your ex.  Practice mediation, mindfulness, and gratitude mindset.  Lovers come and go.  Relationships change over time.  You will find love again.  You are the captain of your ship.  Even small changes you make to your life can create lasting improvement.  See the situation and the people involved, as they truly are and not a fabricated illusion.  You are in control of your life and destiny.