Falling in Love Again is Possible
You may think in this moment you are never going to fall in love again. This is not because you are doubting your self-worth or have become skeptical about love. You may know you are lovable and that some day, someone will want to be with you once again, but it may feel like something inside is missing. You may have forgotten how to properly love someone. This is just referring to giving and receiving affection freely. Usually this is caused by your last relationship that left you broken. While this phrasing sounds melodramatic because you are still obviously a whole person that can live, love, and carry on with life, it is a good descriptor overall.
Even though you remain a productive member of society who is strong and not openly falling apart, you can still be broken. Something just does not quite fit the way it once did. Perhaps you don’t feel the butterflies of love quite as easily or do not get weak in the knees at the slightest touch of hand. Being with others can leave you feeling empty, bleak where it was once quite bright. You may have forgotten what it is like to text someone late into the night because you are interested or how to spend hours preparing for a date. You may still go through the motions of intimacy, but the ability to feel emotionally exposed seems to be missing. The part you could once easily give away, is missing and you cannot figure out why. You may wonder if it will ever return and the good news is it will.
While this is not 100% true for everyone, as someone who has been heartbroken and disenchanted with love, it is easy to understand. The reason you are not ready for love is because you cannot stop comparing new loves to the past ones. The magic you feel is not organic, but one you are trying to reconstruct because you had it with someone else. You are not yet ready for love because the intimacy you ache for is not a genuine opening up, but a desperate please to be understood like you were by someone else, but in the exact way. The emptiness you are haunted by is not an indication that love will forever be absent. It only indicates that your heart is absent of the specific form of love you ache for in the moment. You must let this idea of love die before anything new can bloom.
Before love returns, you have to rid yourselves of expectations. The mental mold you have forced your love into must be released so you can welcome the real thing once again. You may be surprised by who it happens with and how it unfolds. Nothing will feel as you remembered it because it is a completely new beast. The reason your love has not shown up yet is because you are using an old formula that has stopped working. You are searching for love where you lost it and if you keep going this way, you will never find it. You will only find love again when you are truly happy not having it.
You are most likely to find love when your spirit, heart, and mind are so filled with passion for the world around you that you are almost bursting with happiness. When your interactions with others are calm, easy, and not full of desperate aching for care and admiration, you will find love. This is because you are ready to give it away without respecting anything in return. Just start showing up for life fully every moment of every day. Until that point, take your time. It is okay to take time to heal, be confused, tired, and lonely for a while. Even though right now you may not think you will ever love again, you will. At some point, you never thought you would fall out of love. You were wrong and you are wrong again, love will come. This time it will be beautiful because you are happy with or without it.