Reasons He Will Not Commit
Perhaps you want your relationship to move to a higher level, but your partner will not commit. If you are the female in this situation, below are ten reasons why he may be holding back on that commitment.
- Holding a Torch for the Ex – It can be hard to hear, but if your man is not yet over his ex, he may not want to admit it. It may have taken getting together to make him realize just how much he still loved his ex and though this is not the ideal situation, the sooner you can both face the truth, the better. Pay attention to the evidence. If he keeps photos around or keeps in regular communication through social media, then a problem likely exists.
- He has been Treated Poorly in the Past – If someone has gone through a bad break-up, they will take time to recover. Beyond this, they will also need to regain their confidence to become a strong person once again. If this time was not taken, then the problems are carried into the next relationship. This can make it difficult to commit. If you decide to stay, you must be willing to be patient and help your partner heal and grow over time to show them things can be different.
- You are Not the Only One – Though you may hope you are exclusive, if you have not yet had that conversation, then you may not be the only one he is dating. Watch for the signs like being sketchy about the time you are not together or keeping his phone hidden away. He may want to keep his options open, but if you are commitment focused, be straightforward, it is her or you.
- He Enjoys Singleness – Sometimes it is as simple as a man enjoying his freedom. While they may enjoy a dinner out with you and, of course, sex, they are not interested in a long-term commitment. If you want something serious, it may be time to cut ties because those wanting to stay a bachelor, will only change themselves not for someone.
- Separate Bank Accounts – Though we do not often want to believe it, money is the cause of many relationship issues. Perhaps your man wants to establish his career before settling down or the idea of joining finances scares him for a variety of reasons. You may need to show him you can support his career minded ambitions and discuss that every relationship comes with risk, but it is worth it over time. If finances are still an issue, then consider a formal agreement about finances to continue moving forward.
- He Loves Falling in Love – Those early stages of falling in love are addictive. Whether it is the thrilling chase, a first date, or simply getting to know someone new, it is fun. Unfortunately, that feeling ultimately fades and some people are not interested once it does. If he has a history of short-term relationships, he may be a romance junkie.
- He is Feeling the Pressure – Admit it, when we really want something, we can lay it on thick. Instead of suggesting you guys move things to a higher level, perhaps you have done a bit of nagging. Perhaps he wants to have a future with you, but if you apply too much pressure, he may pull away instead. No one likes to be forced to make a decision, so try easing up to see if he comes around.
- He is Not Ready – Real commitment is a serious step because all future decisions have to include the other person. He may like you enough to enjoy a dinner together, but he may not be ready for the responsibility of not wasting money on a new toy because you have to be considered. The responsibility may be too much at this point.
- In It for Sex – This one should not come as a shock, but some guys only want a relationship for sex. While some women are the same way, it is not as common. If you recognize this and it is not what you want, walk away.
- He is Not that Into You – This one may be hard to hear, but sometimes guys end up dating because they are there. They may put in some effort, but he is just biding time until something better comes along. This does not mean he is heartless, but that you are not his “one.”
Looking at this list, some situations can be corrected, while others cannot. Keep in mind ignoring your problems will make them worse, so be mature and discuss the issues. This will offer answers, choices, and relieve the pressure.